Chapter 11 - Co-incidences

I'm sure every person who has ever been in a relationship, good or bad has thought about all the elements that had to combine in perfect alignment in order for them to have met. Was it Devine intervention, karma, fate or just good fortune? It is a wonder how things happen, how people meet, how they fall in love, how they fall out of love.

I've never had a very strong faith in God. I have never been a steady church-going individual, instead I have just lived my life by trying to be kind to people, treating them as I would hope they would treat me. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I have tried my best to live up to this rule, and really if everyone did...the world would be in pretty good shape. Not a difficult rule to follow, simple, specific and clear. No prejudices or pontifications, just a rule to live by.

I don't believe in hell either and maybe not a heaven either. I think that hell is, for most of us, our time here on earth, the turbulent, hurtful, horrid times. Heaven would be the good times on earth, fewer and farther between.

Rett believes in a Sacred Contract. It is basically, before we are born we are given a contract, and we read, accept and sign on the dotted line, our memory of the contract is wiped clean, and then we are born. That would mean that each of us has accepted our lives, good or bad, before we are born, and we just live out our contract.

I have trouble with this theory, considering my life so far. My first problem with it, is how bad must my other choices of contracts been to have chosen this one? I can only imagine. Why would I have said yes to this? Perhaps it was to spare someone not as strong as I from being burdened - no I couldn't be that selfless.

For Rett, I can see why this concept of life makes sense to him. It would unburden him from any responsibility of his choices, after all, it was in the contract. What could he do?

I believe in fate. "Destiny: an event (or a course of events) that will inevitably happen in the future."

Fate has played a large role in my 'relationship' with Rett. When you sit back and think of it, what were the odds that we would meet, that I would decide he was the one to share my first experience with, that I would get pregnant on that first encounter? Pretty steep odds if you ask me. Then, what were the odds that I would find him again after so many years...that he would respond? Again, many stars had to have been aligned for that to happen.

Speaking of co-incidences, one night at the early stages of my journey with Rett, I was having trouble sleeping and I was listening to the radio. Music has always been a source of comfort for me...all my life. I found myself these days, listening to the words of songs more intensely than I had in years. On this night, as I lay awake I heard the first lines of a song..."You, do you remember me...Like I remember you..." Oh my GOD! I turned up the radio so as not to miss a word. These were the words I had sent to Rett weeks ago!!! Karma? Fate? Here are the words to that song.

Enrique Iglesias
Somebody's Me Lyrics
From the CD "Insomniac"

You, do you remember me?,
Like, I remember you?
Do you spend your life, going back in your mind to that time?,
Cause I, I walk the streets alone,
I hate being on my own, and everyone can see that,
I really fell, and I'm going through hell.
Thinking about you with somebody else.

Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you its lonely.
Somebody hopes that one day you will see, that somebody's me.
That somebody's me. yeaa...

How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good, and now its gone,
And i pray at night, that our path's soon will cross.
What we had, isn't lost.
Cause you are always right here in my thoughts..

Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you its lonely.
Somebody hopes that one day you will see, that somebody's me.
That somebody's me. Oh yeah...

You will always be in my life, even if im not in your life.
Cause you're in my memory...

You, when you remember me?...
And before you set me free, oh listen please...
Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you its lonely.
Somebody hopes that someday you will see, that somebody's me.
That somebody's me.
Somebody's me...
That somebody's me...
That somebody's me

So why did it happen? Could it just be a co-incidence? Or was it more than that? Did it happen to teach me something or to teach him something?

I am not sure I have the answers yet, but at least I am looking for them.