Chapter 13 - Eva Cassidy

It was from one of those silly questionnaires that Rett introduced me to Eva Cassidy. She is a singer who has become better known since her death (1996), at the tender age of 36, than she ever was during her lifetime. It was another of those coincidences that had a recurring theme. I knew her voice but I never knew her name. I had heard her voice at my uncle's funeral when his family played her famous version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". It is now a more famous version than Judy Garland's.

Rett said that once you have heard her voice you will know there is a God. And he was right - she sings like an angel. I have had to think of things that I am thankful for during this journey, and if nothing else, I am glad he introduced or re-introduced me to Eva Cassidy. I can't imagine my life without her now.

I also don't understand how a man who obviously can be so cruel could enjoy the music of Eva Cassidy - it is a bewildering.

There is one song in particular from her CD that I play too often, the title song of the CD - Songbird. It is a short song, but it is very melodic, almost like a lullaby. On those nights during the early days of my time with Rett, when I was having trouble sleeping, I would play that song, over and over until it lulled me to sleep. The words now, are more prophetic than I knew then...

Written by christine mcvie
For you there'll be no crying
For you the sun will be shining
˜Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before

To you, I would give the world
To you, I'd never be cold
˜Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before

Like never before; like never before

I particularly like the line "Cause I feel that when I'm with you...It's alright, I know it's right". That is the line that keeps ringing in my head. Because when I was 'with' him, I did feel alright. I felt as if we were working to fix something...wrong.

The other line that I am drawn to is "To you, I'd never be cold". It always stood out in the song like it was calling to me. For all the hurt that Rett has caused me, I have never been nasty or cold. I'm not sure if I have the capability of being cold. I can be angry but cold isn't the same. Anger, to me, shows that you are still involved, or invested. Cold on the other hand, shows indifference. I have been many things in my life, but indifferent isn't one of them.