Chapter 29 - So what now?

Here I am, sitting here typing, trying to sort out what happened and I have no answers. I have no direction for my life, or purpose. I know time will heal all, but it just doesn't feel like it right now. I was looking for answers and all I have are more questions.

What was my journey all about? Where has it lead me?

Why do I feel so used? Just as I felt like a piece of meat all those years ago, I feel cheap and used. At least the last time I was young, I had a lot of living left to do, but not so true now. I am a 50 year old woman, and how do I recover from this? My heart is pulverized, and I let it happen. I let him in and he beat the shit out of my heart - for what? Sport or some sadistic pleasure?

Or was he for real? Did he fall in love and then get frightened? No. No one in love could have possibly been that cruel. All I had ever wanted was for him to care and he so doesn't give one small bit, not one cell of his being cares about me or what he did to me.

And now he is walking the earth thinking that he is totally forgiven for his actions. Yes, I'm sure there is a strut to his walk now. I am sure he is holding his head even higher, because he is guilt free - ALL THANKS TO ME!!! Yeah, I feel really good about myself right now.

Anyway, such as it is that is my story. My journey into the world of forgiveness and closure. Travel carefully all of you who will dare to go on such a journey, as there are many bandits along the way, just waiting to hurt you.

Now it is time for judgment dear readers. Please comment and let me know what you think. Was I wrong? Or was he?