Chapter 41 - Remembrance Day

For several reasons, Remembrance Day is a memorable day in my life. My great uncles on my mother's side of my family all served in the Second World War. One lost his life and another was a Prisoner of War in Japan for over four years. The third great uncle survived. On this special day of remembrance I often go to the ceremonies and bring their memories close to my heart. I am so proud of their courage and their strength. This year I decided to stay home and think about them in my own way.

November 11, 1981 was also the day that I received confirmation from the clinic that I was pregnant. I can remember exactly where I was sitting, what I was looking at while I was waiting for the nurse to find my results, what I was wearing, and what it felt like to have the bottom fall out of my life. That's not an odd analogy, because when you receive news like that, it is as if you are in a free-fall, spinning out of control and you have no idea where you will land. I remember the nurse's voice as she said "Annette...I am sorry, but it is positive." There is no elation at university clinics when they give out news of a pregnancy, unlike other doctors' offices. She truly felt badly for me, and I appreciated her demeanor.

If it hadn't been Remembrance Day, I wonder if I would recall the exact date - but it was, and I do. I will never forget the feelings after I got off the phone. The thoughts that were running ramped through my head. And I couldn't do anything. I was alone when I called, so I just sat on the couch for what seemed like hours. I was frozen in time. My head was doing all the moving that was necessary. This can't be happening to me. How did this happen to me? What do I do now? Oh it was a horrible day - to remember.

And then I think of my uncle in a prison camp, and how his days must have been. How dare I complain about my horrible day. I don't have anything to complain about compared to the horror he endured. We are a family of survivors. We do not give in easily to the pressures this life puts upon us. We are fighters. There is something in our souls that makes us survive, and who am I to question that.