Chapter 54 - 'Tis the Season

I really don't like this time of year, and I haven't since 1981. My friends and family give me a hard time about it, and have been known to refer to me as "Grinch".

It's not that I dislike the giving part of the season, it's all the cheeriness. I don't feel cheerful. It is a difficult time of year for me, and for all these years I have 'faked' it as best I could. The fact is - I hate it. And I am so tired of pretending.

'Tis the season to be jolly', but only if you have something to be jolly about. I know I am not alone in the way I feel. It is difficult for millions of people who are alone, and the millions who are impoverished. It is a time of spending too much, cooking too much, and rushing around trying to juggle work, socializing, and shopping. We have to fight the throng of over worked, tired, impatient shoppers to get that 'perfect'ly useless gift.

I have had too many Christmases when I haven't had any money, but I had to put on that brave face and put myself in debt until March or April to get gifts that people didn't want, appreciate or need. I've spent too many Christmas Eve's finishing home-made projects, not because I am crafty, but because I didn't have the money to buy the 'easy' gifts. Where is the joy?

The joy that I get is from spending time with my family. One of my best holiday memories is making my first ever batch of gingersnaps with my grandmother. She must have been in her mid-eighties at the time. She could barely walk or stand, but never, ever gave in to her infirmity. She insisted on helping me bake. It was her recipe and she wanted to show me how to make them.

My kitchen is a galley style, and small, barely room for one, but I managed to get a chair close enough, so that she could help. My floors are ceramic and very slippery when coated with a small smattering of flour (inevitable when you cook).

I can hear her laughing yet, as I slipped from the oven over to the counter, where she was sitting, to hand over the tray of freshly baked snaps for her to remove and inspect. We had Christmas carols playing on the stereo - way too loud - and she hummed along with Bing. My grandmother was not a 'hummer', but she was happy.

I have always kept a chair in the kitchen. I swear I can still hear her laughter each time I make her recipe of gingersnaps.

That's what Christmas was about, and it should be about - spending time with people, enjoying them, sharing with them, and laughter. Fill your Christmas stockings this year with laughter. Wrap up some family time and put that under your tree. Take time and listen to your loved-ones instead of worrying about getting that perfect gift - if you have family - you already have the perfect gift.