Chapter 80 = Getting back on the horse

This dating thing has exposed me to some new fun activities. Last night I had my makeup done by a professional. First I had my hair cut and styled, then I went to a department store and let a total stranger make up my face. She was young and extremely nice and really very gentle with me. She could tell I wasn't a woman who wore a lot of makeup, so I didn't come out of there looking like a cheap hooker. She was very complimentary, so much so I asked her if she got paid by the compliment - she wasn't overdoing it, I'm just not used to compliments and I guess I'm not very gracious about them.

My girlfriend, Cathy, and I have been together almost all our lives, so we KNOW one another. As I was getting made up, Cathy was watching over me like a friend should, giving advice to the lady and some guidance as well. Cathy is a perfectionist, and when my eye-liner wasn't quite symmetrical, she pointed it out. Wouldn't want me facing the world lop-sided now would we?

I was having my face 'done' so that Cathy could take my picture to put up on the dating websites I have joined. I had a picture there...but it wasn't working for me. I dislike having my picture taken, so I never look comfortable. It always appears staged and fake - and that's what my expression looks like - fake. Not an attractive feature.

I decided to try a couple of different coloured blouses to bring out the colour in my cheeks, so there were a couple of costume changes...different poses in a couple of rooms in my house. And we laughed so much. It is such a game, and I really don't know the rules to this new-world of dating...but I am trying, and I am willing to learn.

I sent out my pictures to a group of my female friends to get their opinions on which one they thought should be posted, and everyone agreed on the same picture (not that I gave them many to choose from), so I posted it. Almost immediately I got an e-mail from a guy who liked it.

This man, or should I say young man, was only 34 and we chattd through the dating site for a while then he asked me to IM him through MSN - Warning, warning...is this another yahoo from Nigeria?! No, he wasn't - phew. It was just a nice young guy looking for someone to chat with. I asked him why he was chatting with an 'older' woman and he said he was tired of BS and older women weren't as likely to behave like that. I had to ask "What does a 34 year old know of BS?" His reply was simply "More than you think." It is sad to be jaded at such a young age. Anyway, we chatted for a while, and then I told him I needed to go write. It was funny, because the whole time we were chatting, I was expecting the worst, and nope, not this time.

Don't worry - nothing will come of this, I just wanted to jump back in, test the waters again, and get back on the horse, and this time it didn't buck me off. That's what I need to do.

I have realized that if I were to wait before trying to date, I likely would end up alone. The longer you wait, get comfortable with your life, the less likely you will be to try new things, and I don't want that to happen. I am excited about life again. I know there will be disappointments but they will be minor. I am starting to get my confidence back, getting my feet back underneath me, so I won't be as easily thrown off my pace. Just like a boxer - I am learning to weave and sway with the punches instead of letting them knock me out.