Chapter 84 - Just Yummy

I have to write about my week because it has been huge for me. I went out on my first date in twenty six years!!! Yes, with a real live person. It all started on Friday when I was on one of the on-line dating sites, checking my mail and suddenly I had a new e-mail. It was from a man that I had looked at the first day I signed up, but once I read his statistics - I thought...no, he is just too perfect and he would never be interested in me. His written profile was so poetic and he seemed so free by what he wrote. So...I went on my way to see who else might be there.

The e-mail that I received from him simply said "What kind of fun is a separated lady looking for on a Friday??" Well, as soon as I saw his userid, I knew who he was because I remembered him well. So I set off into a conversation with him that went on for a couple of hours. He is playful, yet sincere and just plain old nice.

We e-mailed most of Friday and again on Saturday. He wanted to meet me, but I wasn't ready yet for that, so I suggested a phone call first. I agreed to call him Saturday night. I called and it went to an answering machine, but the voice disturbed me. It was him, but in my mind I had created a voice that I thought would be his, and this was nothing like I had imagined. It was so different...I hung up without leaving a message.

We had also made plans to set up a meeting time for Sunday by e-mailing early Sunday morning. I checked on Sunday morning, and no word from him. Well, as you probably know by now...I am really not a patient person any more...no more waiting, so when I did finally hear from him in the afternoon and he wanted to know when we would meet, I told him I had already made alternate plans. I said that I thought he had moved on to someone else in the quick paced cyber world. He said he was sorry, and no, he hadn't moved along. We again exchanged a flurry of e-mails and he was oh so poetic and touching. I decided to bite the bullet and take a chance. I agreed to meet him the next evening for a drink.

Oh my god...what was I thinking...what do I know about dating...what will we talk about...what will I wear...what if he doesn't like me...what if I don't like him...what if I can't get my tongue unstuck from the roof of my mouth???????? What the HELL was I thinking?

I was thinking...it is time to get on with my life.

Monday was an excruciatingly long day and I had a devilish time concentrating on work. I was terrified yet excited. I finally left work early to prepare for the meeting.

Cathy, my soul mate in life, came over to drive me to the restaurant where I was to meet him. Cathy and I had a plan to meet for supper, if the drink with him didn't go well. It is always good to have a back-up plan. I was hesitant about going, so much so, that Cathy had to tell me that it was time to leave or I would be late...I am never late.

I get to the restaurant and Cathy offers to come in and not sit with me...but in another booth just so that I feel comfortable. I tell her no...I will be okay. I go into the bar and find a table, sort of secluded, in the corner and a vantage point where I can watch the door. It is 6:20 and I have 10 minutes to wait for him.

I order a glass of wine. I haven't had a drink since my New Year's Eve drinking debacle, but again...there are some times when a drink is more than necessary, it is a requirement. I try to sip it, but I am so dry. I take a stick of gum from my purse and chew on it to get the saliva going again. I look around the bar and everyone looks so young. I am so old and what the hell am I doing here? I check my watch again...okay, five minutes have passed. I take out my cell phone and text another girlfriend who knows what I am up to. All I text is "I am so nervous". It feels good to share and it occupies me for another minute or two.

Okay...it is 6:30 and he is not there yet. How long do I wait? Will he stand me up? God that would be awful to be left here all alone. I told the waitress I was meeting someone, and if he doesn't show up...I will look like such a loser. Stop it!!!! Don't go there!!! Think positive thoughts Annette...only positive thoughts.

I keep checking the door every time I hear it open - why don't they put some WD40 on that thing so that I can't hear when people are opening the door. Finally I see him fly in the door. He walks right passed me and I don't say a word - I am just watching him...I can't speak yet. He turns around and our eyes meet and he sees me...and he smiles. He walks over to me and gives me a kiss. He tastes so good and his lips are soft. He says "You taste good."

So, there it was, staring me directly in the face, my future, my possibilities, my hope. Was I going to run away too scared to take that chance? Was I going to spend the rest of my life wondering what it would feel like to enjoy the company of a man - a man who might possibly be normal? Someone who I can be me with, and just have some fun. Remember the fun you had as an adolescent...I never had that...remember the fun you had as a young adult...I never had that either. So, here I am, a fifty year old woman and I am experiencing fun for the first time.

He sits down and starts to talk - his voice doesn't sound like it did on his answering machine - he has a lovely voice. He talked, and talked and talked and it was perfect because all I could do at first was look at him. I was thinking "He's here...he's normal...he's lovely." My eyes couldn't look away from his for the first little while. He has the deepest blue eyes and they are happy eyes. His face is calm and sincere. Yes, I think this will be okay.

We chat and have another drink of wine. Then we have a bite to eat. He is very easy to talk with and he is interesting to listen to. The conversation was seamless and comfortable. No long pauses or awkward moments at all.

After a while he goes to the washroom and when he returns he comes over to me and kisses me. This time it was a passionate kiss, and it was as if we were the only two people in the room...no one else existed for a moment. He made my knees weak. He is a very good kisser!!!

I asked him to come back to the house for a coffee, because by now I know that he isn't a serial killer or dangerous, and I trust him. We come to the house and I go the kitchen to start the coffee and he follows me. He again takes me into his arms and kisses me. God it has been so long since I have been kissed like that and it felt oh so good.

We sat and drank coffee and chatted for a couple of hours. He is interesting and gentle - soft spoken and a good listener. We are comfortable with one another. He says he has to leave because we are supposed to be getting a storm and he has a busy day tomorrow. In my head I am thinking "I don't want him to leave."

We kiss again at the door and I feel something inside starting in the pit of my stomach and it runs all through my body - I feel alive. We ask no questions about next time, nor do we make any promises. We just had a really nice evening. But as soon as the door closed I thought "I wonder if he liked me? I wonder if he will call. I wonder if he will e-mail me." It may be twenty six years since I dated, but really nothing has changed except the year.

He did write the next day...and every day since. He is a sweet man, and I refer to him as "Yummy!" It was a very nice introduction into dating again.

I know I am being tiresome for some of you to listen to as I rattle on about my latest story of 'romance', but for me it is as exciting as winning a lottery, so be patient with me and let me ....be me.