Feast of Love

"There is a story about the Greek Gods; they were bored so they invented human beings, but they were still bored so they invented love, then they weren't bored any longer. So they decided to try love for themselves. And finally, they invented laughter, so they could stand it." From the movie Feast of Love.

I watched a movie last night and it began with this quote which caused me to think for a while - doesn't it ring true? How can we take love so seriously? Or better yet...Why do we take love so seriously? It is supposed to make us feel free, happy, content, and comfortable. It isn't supposed to cause us doubts, or worry or unease. And laughter is not just a nice diversion - it is a necessity.

I am at a crossroad in my journey. I have met someone who is making me so very happy. For the first time in my life I feel at peace. There is no question of neediness or wanting more than what is being given. There is no question of trust. There are no questions at all. It just feels - right, and it isn't an effort.

Last evening we were sitting out by the pool just holding hands and talking...sometimes just sitting and not talking but it didn't feel uncomfortable to be silent with him. At some point I removed my hand from his to get a drink and after I was finished - he reached for my hand. I know this is not a huge gesture, but I noted it because - he reached for me...I didn't reach for him. He wants me as much as I want him - it is an equal relationship. It's sad but at 50 I think it is the first time I have felt that reciprocation in a relationship.

I am aware that it is early days yet, and that things could change, but we are both aware of this. We are taking it slowly and cautiously - one day at a time. We talk about the future but in abstract terms only, nothing concrete yet because it is too soon to make those kind of plans. I'm not ready to think that far ahead, nor is he. We've both been badly wounded by love and still feel the sting of it, but we are willing to take the leap together, but this time we are hanging onto the strings of the parachute to guide us to a safe landing.

And we are remembering to laugh...