How does one 'let' someone hurt them emotionally? If we were talking physical hurt...and we 'let' someone hurt us, we would be considered a wimp. Imagine standing there and letting someone hurt you. Does that make any sense? Would you stand there an allow that to happen? NO!!! Yet when it comes to emotions, that's exactly what we do. I know we say people hurt us...but in reality we allow it happen. It's like an accident you know is going to happen, and you feel powerless to stop it...you just stand there and watch. Innocent bystanders or active participants?
I am suspecting that this is where the elusive boundaries would come in handy. I have been hearing about these for a while now, but I'm still unsure how they work.
My ex came by last week to remove the remainder of his things from my house. I have given him over a year to decide what he wanted to do with the stuff, but being the procrastinator that he is...he did nothing. He came to the house when I wasn't here, which was fine as I really didn't want to be present when the move took place - too much turmoil for me.
I arrived home after it was done, and I went to the basement to see how nice my empty rooms looked and ... he took it all. We had amassed quite a collection of tools - his...mine...and his deceased father's that we had inherited...but they were all gone. He didn't even leave me a nail.
Most people would have reacted with anger, but not me...I cried. I cried because it hurt me to think that this man that I spent 25 years with...took care of....supported, could not have taken 15 minutes to sort through and leave me a couple of screwdrivers and a hammer. That's what I mean or meant to him - absolutely nothing.
I should have known better. I should have expected this. I should have been prepared for this. I should not let it bother me. But, yet again...I 'let' him hurt me emotionally.
Will I ever learn?
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