Out of my heart

I know that I have moved on, but sometimes memories keep pulling me back. This is one of those times.

Rett's birthday and the anniversary of all that happened two years ago (has it been two years already?) is very quickly approaching. He is on my mind. I could deny it or ignore it, but it doesn't change the fact, so I might as well embrace it.

I've learned that the things I once thought of as odd coincidences aren't...he is on my mind and the Power of Attraction is bringing things to my attention that have always been there - just not as close to mind.

Tonight when I got home from work there was a flyer in the mailbox from the company where I ordered the kilt pin for Rett. I didn't order it in February...I ordered it in August or September, so it isn't a 'normal' yearly reminder. It is just a co-incidence that they sent these out at this time of year. But in a little over a week it will be Rett's 50th birthday and I had said that I might just parcel up the pin and send it to him. It is of no use to me because it has his family's crest and motto on it, and really...it is just something for me to run across from time to time and bring him back to mind. Do I need that? No.

So...here I sit contemplating what to do - yet again. Should I send it or should I keep it?

Part of me just wants it gone, and it would complete what I said I was going to do. The other part of me would rather just leave things alone...and the battle in my mind starts all over again.

He's still there...in my head, but at least he is no longer in my heart.