Get over it

I heard a line today while watching Oprah that almost stopped me in my tracks. During an interview with someone who had tragically lost her son at age 16, the woman said "If you have lost a child...you don't fear death." I had often wondered why death doesn't scare me and there it was. I hadn't ever thought about it like that, but there is much truth in that short statement.

I cried as soon as I heard the line - tears streaming down my cheeks because another life-truth has been unveiled for me.

Rett told me .... several times ... to "get-over it" and "move on" with my life. Well, it is my life. It was and is a part of me and my life. It has made me who I am and how I react to events in life. There are times when it is triggered and there is nothing that I can do about that, but each time it is triggered lately it has been a source of clarification. I often find myself after one of these episodes, saying..."Oh...that makes sense." Slowly making sense of who I am and why I feel the way I do.

I can't get-over it. This wasn't an unimportant event in my life...it was a life-altering moment and that's what it does. It ALTERS your life, your views, your path.

I think Rett meant for me to 'get-over' the anger because that would make things easier for him, in that, he would feel less guilt if he thought this hadn't altered my life. How shallow does he think I am? More precisely...how shallow is he?

My life was changed and I know that it was changed for the better. I didn't know that a few years ago, but I do now. I don't fear death or the ending of my time on this earth and I never have. I have a different perspective on death than most people and that's not a bad thing. Why fear something we have absolutely no control over anyway? Now that's a waste of time.

So..I will embrace my life and live every moment to the fullest, trying to bring a smile to situations and I will be kind to people until it is my time to 'get-over' into the next life.