I mulled over the question of whether to put a note in with it, but after much deliberation I decided to just send it ... no note. I have nothing left to say to him, nothing more that I can do. It is the "Amen" at the end of the sermon so to speak. I needed for it to be gone from my sight and that has been done.
It felt good when I made the decision, like I was finally putting the period at the end of the very long sentence and now I can take a breath and relax.
If I had put in a note it would signify that I was expecting a response or a reaction and I'm not. I don't even care if he actually receives it because my last step in this journey was to get rid of it. There are no expectations anymore because it isn't about his reaction or what he thinks or what he feels because I have no control over any of that. All I can control is me...and my reaction and actions.
I found this quote when I was contemplating putting something in with the pin. It really seems appropriate.
“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”
Sara Paddison quote
It's funny...I just took a long deep breath after writing that, and it feels so good to be ... DONE.
Amen
