Going through you house that you've lived in for 30 years is not easy. It's not the "stuff" that is the issue, it's the memories that hang on each piece like an unwanted tag...you know the ones that scratch at your skin and irritate you all day.
I've had my trials and tribulations like everyone but I've survived and overcome. Most days I'm proud of the way I've been able to maneuver through life's challenges and still manage to smile.
But today has been tough. I'm sorting through a mountain of memories, picking and choosing which one to keep...which one to discard. In the process it has caused my to go back...most times to spaces and places I don't want to go. I've reliving a couple of periods in my life that weren't pleasant and all those feelings are dragging me down with them. I'm angry again...sad again and heartbroken. It's no fun going through all that again. But I have no choice. Well I do...I could either toss it all out, or put it back in a box and keep it shut forever. But where is the progress in that...right?!
My jaw has been clenched and my tongue feels like it is in a vice-grip so I know I'm either going to yell at someone, scream or have a good ole cry. My body is exhibiting the tension that my heart and head are feeling.
Maybe...just maybe it's time to stop for today.? Have a glass of wine and relax. The pile will be there tomorrow.
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