Chapter 58 - What am I looking for?

I have been contemplating dating again, not right now, but at some point in the future. I know that I am not ready to be seeing anyone yet because my wounds are still too exposed. But I have to say it is a frightening proposition. It has been so long since I have been single; I don't think I know how to go about it anymore.

How does one get back on that horse (excuse the image here)? How does one get started? How do you get your nerve back?

I know that the bar-scene isn't for me. Been there, done that. It really isn't the proper place to meet anyone because you really don't want to date someone who frequents bars - or at least I don't. But liquor does help break the ice, and loosen you up enough to jump off the cliff of dating.

Someone suggested that I take a course in something that interests me, and that sounded safer. Then if I met someone, at least we would have something in common. Perhaps a writing course would be a good choice.

But then the questions started in my head...what am I looking for? What type of man am I interested in seeing? Do I have a type? These are questions I have never really asked myself before. I have never really dated, or actively looked for someone.

I know that I prefer tall man even though I am vertically challenged. I like intelligent man, who can carry on a conversation other than one that deals with sports or computers. He must have a quick wit. I like a man who is not afraid to show his emotions, but is not a hot-head. It would be nice if they were close to their family as I am. And they have to be clean. But beyond that...I don't have a preference.

I never saw myself looking for someone at my age, but here I am. It isn't easy meeting someone. I am extremely shy and introverted, so putting myself 'out there' will be a challenge.

But I can't imagine spending the remainder of my life alone, because I think that I can bring much joy and happiness to another human being. I'm not looking for a husband anymore, just someone to spend time with, to share with...to have fun and enjoy life.

What a simple concept!

But I’m not ready yet…I have to heal first.